Although it’s a real first-world problem, it’s still always depressing when your messages on sex apps or online date platforms have been read but go unanswered. It’s like a little kick in the crown jewels when you send a text and don’t get a reply. It’s even worse when after a week you still haven’t had a reply. And you’re just sitting around wondering what the hell you did wrong. All the time, you’re wondering what you could have said. Or done that the guy can’t even find three seconds to answer you. We’ve all been there, it seems to be an unfortunate part of our technological and fast-moving times.
What did I do wrong on my online date?
Here, we have listed seven possible reasons why the other person might have dropped you. Except that they might also just be a jerk!
1. You were too greedy
It happens to all of us … we just push ourselves too hard. And already we have the stamp on our forehead that we are too greedy and like a thirsty man in the desert we pounce on everything that crawls and flies. You may have gone out a few times, and you’ve probably written him more messages than he can handle, including photos of your hot stomper early in the morning. Although some may think this is great, others may be put off by it. He may have just wanted to slow things down a bit and went all-or-nothing right away.
2. Slowcoach
While some are too brash, you have made an effort but have failed miserably. Look at what you wrote to him …. Did you robotically report all the details of your day? Did you mostly just give monosyllabic answers that didn’t suggest any interest on your part? At this point he probably would have preferred Alexa, even she shows more emotions … It may be that you are an absolute party animal in real life, but unfortunately that didn’t come across at all in your news…. And at a time when we simply have to rely on texting when we break up, it’s important to hone your texting skills, so you don’t bore the guy to death.
3. “Hey” – Nay!
The bottom line: if all you ever do is write “Hey”, guys just won’t reply because absolutely nobody has time for that! It doesn’t get much more uncreative than that, and if that’s all you can manage, then you should definitely get a bit more original with your pick-up lines. No one will respond to something like that unless it’s as lame as “Hey”.
4. You’re a mayfly
Oh, toots, did you really not get it that you were just a one-time hookup? A quick number, bang and done, goodbye. Aren’t you a little bit to blame yourself? Learn to read between the lines, and you’ll soon find out if the guy is just a fuck boy or if he might have more serious intentions. Fuck boys are pros at ghosting.
5. He’s taken
Sometimes you not only don’t get an answer any more, but you are blocked or deleted directly. Unfortunately, you were just a little slip for him, an escape from his otherwise so regular (boring) everyday life. He already has someone in his life, be it a boyfriend, husband, wife, whatever. He won’t write to you again because he has a stable life, the pillars of which he doesn’t want to tamper with just because he once made a misstep.
6. Lost in Translation
There is often a fine line in texting between coming across as too greedy and not coming at all. If you like someone, you can let them know that without slapping it right in their face. Find the balance and be open about what you want from the other person so that they know directly what they are getting. If you give the impression that you are not interested in him, he will not want to waste his time writing back and forth with you because it will lead to nothing anyway.
7. Your grammar is a horror
WhEN yOu wRitE LiKE thIse, don’t be surprised if no one comes forward. No one who has left puberty should still write like that! No matter how hot you are, when SUCH a thing comes, it’s the end of the line. If the guy writes like that, how does he talk in real life? Does he fuck like that? You don’t want to find out …
Of course, it doesn’t automatically have to be you. Maybe you’re doing everything right, you’re friendly, flirty and flirtatious to a healthy degree, and you can express yourself well…. In the end, the guy was just a stupid, immature boy who is too cowardly to end things in an adult and honest way.
No luck with online dating? No matter – Next!
So if you get ghosted online dating or on sex apps, it can sometimes hit hard, even if these relationships are often superficial and non-committal. There are, however, steps you can take to avoid this blow to the head.
Stop for a moment to go through the situation and sort out some of the feelings that are arising (anger, disappointment, fear, etc.). Reflect on the weirdness of the chat or contact and try to learn from the experience to improve future encounters.
Don’t be too self-critical of yourself, and remember that ghosting has nothing to do with your personal worth as a person. If necessary, talk to friends (or a therapist) about these feelings and seek support. Also, avoid spending a lot of time on sex apps or online dating platforms to distract yourself from the rejection. Instead, you can set clear boundaries and think about what kind of relationships you are looking for and what your limits are.
Trust that you will find a happy and fulfilling relationship, and remain optimistic. Focus on your own development and the things that make you happy. Ultimately, it is important to accept that ghosting is not always avoidable, but by taking these steps, you can come out of this experience stronger and ready to tackle future contacts – and a resulting relationship!
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