Masochism in BDSM: Gaining pleasure through pain and submission

5 Min. Lesezeit

The last letter in BDSM stands, in the context of sadism, for masochism. This describes a phenomenon in which some people experience sexual pleasure when they experience pain or suffering. This can be both physical and psychological, although the focus is usually on the physical level.

Unlike the other terms, which are derived from Greek or Latin, the term masochism goes back to the writer Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, who wrote the novella Venus in Fur in 1870. It tells the story of a submissive man and a dominant woman and was later made into several films. Sacher-Masoch was appreciated for his ability to express painful and submissive fantasies aesthetically.

BDSM: What is masochism about?

The opposite of masochism – and necessary, because where one wants to receive, another must feel pleasure in inflicting pain on others – is sadism, named after the Marquis de Sade. Since sadism and masochism are closely linked in the BDSM context, the term “Sadomasochism” was created. It generally encompasses all sexual practices that deviate from social norms and combine pleasure with pain.

In the past, sadomasochistic tendencies were considered psychological disorders, even if they were consensual. This changed in 2013 with the publication of the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. In this revised version, sadomasochism was deleted as a paraphilia.

Masochism: Blows with Love

Masochism may be difficult for many people to understand, as pain and sexual pleasure are often perceived as opposing sensations. Yet both pain and pleasure are complex subjective sensations.

Pain serves mainly as a warning signal to the brain that the body is being injured, with irritated nerves sending electrical impulses. However, for some people, the perception of this signal can be stimulating. Essentially, sexual pleasure is also a response of our nerves to stimulation, and for some people these sensations are close together.

Although masochism describes pleasure from pain, pain usually has to be deliberately and purposefully inflicted to be arousing. While there are some masochists who can find pain that is not inflicted in the context of a BDSM session, such as vigorous massages, medical examinations or tight clothing, erotic, most do not find pleasure in accidental pain, such as cutting or bumping.

Do you become masochistic?

The exact causes and developmental mechanisms of masochism have not yet been fully explained, and common theories do not always match the experiences of those affected. In general, however, a distinction is made between psychological and physical causes.

Psychological causes can lie in a disharmonious family environment that leads to anger outbursts, excessive demands and suppressed feelings in childhood. In some cases, childhood games in which one consciously places oneself in a victim role are also considered to be an outlet for masochistic tendencies.

In terms of physical causes, some studies suggest that in masochists pain signals are processed neurologically differently and may be directly linked to the release of endorphins, the so-called pleasure hormones. This is relevant in that many masochists believe that there is something wrong with them psychologically, and they judge themselves for their preferences. In fact, however, it may simply be a matter of neurochemistry.

Important things to remember about masochism

Masochists are different and do not always prefer the same types of pain. Some are aroused by many kinds of pain, while others prefer only certain kinds. Although masochism mostly involves physical pain, some identify as psychic masochists who seek mental submission and humiliation.

Before engaging in sadomasochistic play, it is important to consider the dangers and limits – both your own and your partner’s. The following tips can serve as important pointers to ensure that everyone involved has a safe and enjoyable experience:

  1. Communication: Open and honest communication between partners is crucial to discuss one’s preferences, boundaries and concerns.
  2. Consensuality: Ensure that all parties involved consent to the activities and can withdraw at any time.
  3. Safewords: Agree on a safeword or traffic light system that can be used to stop activities immediately if someone is uncomfortable or pain thresholds are reached.
  4. Trust: Build trust between partners to ensure everyone feels safe and respected.
  5. Acquire knowledge: Educate yourself about the different practices, techniques and possible risks before engaging in masochistic activities.
  6. Safety measures: Take appropriate safety precautions to avoid injury or danger.
  7. Start slowly: Start with less intense activities and increase slowly to better assess the tolerance and preferences of the people involved.
  8. Aftercare: After a masochism session, make sure to take care of the emotional and physical well-being of the people involved. This can be done through loving touch, conversation or other supportive actions.
  9. Respect boundaries: Be careful to respect the personal boundaries of everyone involved and not to go beyond them without consent.
  10. Self-reflection: Pay attention to your body and feelings, and whether masochistic activities are pleasant and enriching for you. If this is not the case, consider changing your approach or seeking professional help.

Caution

For advanced masochists, there is a risk that activities become more intense or are carried out carelessly. Especially with practices such as impact and breathing games or needles, there is a risk of injury with potentially fatal consequences if not handled properly.

Self-injurious behaviour (SVV) is also discussed in connection with masochistic tendencies. Self-harm or self-punishment during masturbation can be part of sexual discovery and need not necessarily be problematic. However, there is a danger when such acts become dependent and need to be increased further and further in order to feel pleasure or reach orgasm.

3 x 3 makes?! Different perceptions of masochism

The term masochism, from the aforementioned novella by Sacher-Masoch, was first used scientifically in 1886 by the German-Austrian psychiatrist and forensic pathologist Richard von Krafft-Ebing. At that time, it already referred to the view of sexual pleasure in suffering, experiencing pain and enduring humiliation. Many people have redefined and redeveloped the term over time, whether in philosophy or psychology, but there is no established contemporary definition. The best-known definitions can be traced back to Ernst Bornemann and Sigmund Freud.

Sigmund Freud distinguished three types of masochism.

  1. Erogenous masochism: This arises in the developmental phases of the libido during childhood. Here, sexual pleasure is closely linked to pain.
  2. Feminine masochism: This refers to the erotic tendencies towards punishment, submission and suffering. People with this tendency place themselves in a childlike situation, wanting to feel guilty and to be punished. Freud founded feminine masochism in the relationship between child and mother.
  3. Moral masochism: This is a kind of self-sadism based on a relationship of tension, according to Freud, between ego and super-ego and is a consequence of cultural drive suppression. Repressed, culturally unwanted aggression is ultimately directed against one’s own person.

3 categories of masochism

Ernst Bornemann, a sex researcher from the 1960s and 1970s, also defined three categories of masochism, including non-sexual masochism.

  1. Non-sexual or psychological masochism: This is when someone derives emotional satisfaction from humiliations and failures in social life or everyday life. These failures can even be deliberately caused in work and private life.
  2. Sexual or Conjunctional Masochism: This is where someone feels pleasure in being oppressed by their sexual partner, which can also lead to self-harm during sex.
  3. Perverse or compensatory masochism: This describes that the sensation of pain and the resulting sexual satisfaction replaces the sexual act. In this case, a person feels sexual pleasure solely through physical pain and humiliation.

In the BDSM scene, informal divisions have emerged into three categories as well. However, these deal with the preferred type of pain and thus move on the level of corporeal masochism.

  1. Piercing pain: which is very localised and intensely focused on a specific point. This type of pain can be produced by special BDSM practices, such as using needles.
  2. Dull pain: characterised by a larger affected area or muscle group. It is often deeper, sometimes felt all the way down to the bones, and has a dull aftertaste. This type of stimulus can be produced, for example, by hitting with a paddle.
  3. Pulling pain: which is characterised by a smaller radius than dull pain, but is not as punctate as stabbing pain. It produces a more intense, burning, sharp sensation. For example, cane sticks are well suited to extinguish this pain.

 

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