Open the little hole the size of your fist? An introduction to Fisting stretching and the art of active relaxation. As you have already learned in the chapter on anatomy, the external sphincter consists of striated muscles, i.e. muscles that can be controlled. The inner sphincter, on the other hand, is made of smooth muscle and is not subject to will, at least not the kind of will that you know. So you can’t open it, like you lift one arm or put one foot in front of the other. The internal sphincter is centrally controlled. The stretch receptors in the intestinal wall measure the filling state of the ampoule.
Open Sesame!
When a certain level is reached, they send signals to a kind of »stool emptying centre« located in the sacrum area (at the lower end of the spineäule). The defecation centre, in turn, transmits to the cerebrum, and from there the command »urge to defecate« reaches your consciousness. As soon as you feel the urge to defecate, the defecation centre in the sacrum gives the command to the internal sphincter muscle to relax.
At the same time, the longitudinal muscles in the wall of the rectum contract, the rectum shortens and the result ends up in the bowl. You see, the internal sphincter muscle only opens by itself when the bowel is full. A full bowel, however, is not very entertaining for fisting stretching, at least for the average person. But how do you get the rosette open when the rectum is full and empty? What kind of guide would that be if we couldn’t explain to you which techniques you can use to influence your inner sphincter muscle!
Fisting stretching ability
»The sphincter muscle can be stretched very far«, says Berlin proctologist Dr Alex Rothhaar. »You just have to do it slowly and carefully, then it won«t get damaged.
Training on the organic level
There are several ways to stretch the involuntary sphincter. Let’s start with training at the organic level. The principle is very simple. As with building muscles in the gym, always go to the limit and stay there. In the gym this means: »strain until you can’t take it any more« when preparing to fist: »stretch so that it hurts just a little, but doesn’t really hurt yet«. Stay at the pain threshold in the stretch and breathe deeply. Wait until you notice that the uncomfortable stretching sensation (pain) subsides, then – and really only then – can you stretch the sphincter a millimetre further. Stay in this position and wait again until the pain subsides. Then stretch another millimetre, or even a fraction of a millimetre.
With this you can ease the stretch
- By practicing in the bath, after a shower or in the sauna. There it is warm, the body is relaxed…
- By gently pressing it, like having a bowel movement. It opens the rosette from the inside.
- By breathing deeply: When in pain, we have a tendency to hold our breath – an automatic reaction controlled by the nervous system. This can be counteracted by consciously breathing in and out slowly and deeply. This promotes relaxation.
- By concentrating on the pain: This is also an automatism. As soon as the pain sets in, you try to distract yourself with pleasant thoughts, looking forward to fisting stretching, playing with your cock, etc. This distraction doesn’t help, however. But this distraction does not help to advance the stretching, rather the opposite. In fact, the best thing to do is to focus directly on the rosette and the pain in that spot and to be as aware of it as possible. You can go one step further: Rate the pain on a scale of 1 to 10. Then assign it a colour, a sound, a shape. When you have done that, feel the pain again. Well, still on the same level?
- By connecting pain and breath – a technique of the yogis. Focus on the pain and then direct your breath there. With each exhale, the pain becomes a little less.
- Discover the pleasure of it. Besides all the pain – what about this stretching makes you horny? Focus your attention only on that. Go into that feeling. Stretch it out.
Lust for stretching
If you don’t enjoy stretching, it’s highly unlikely that fisting will make you happy, because it consists mainly of stretching. Not only stretching the rosette, but also the bowel. After all, it’s the only thing you notice when you fist. And another thing: the duration may irritate you, maybe even put you off. In our society and our everyday life there is little time for slowness. Every business relationship is characterised by the striving for optimisation; advice books aim to show you how to do something even faster, even more efficiently; and the flood of tasks you have to do in your private life usually forces you to achieve goals faster and more concentrated, because otherwise you simply won’t be able to finish.
Fisting stretching is a technique of slowness. Yes, you do see men in porn who can sit down on a one-and-a-half-litre bottle at the drop of a hat. But don’t forget that they have certainly trained for many years for this. There is a pleasure and a delight in this slowness, in this steady and sustained penetration into the interior of the human body, millimetre by millimetre over a period of hours. So through these exercises you learn not only to stretch, but also to take time for yourself.
Important!
If you want to be fisted with lasting pleasure, you must consistently take the limits of your sphincter muscle seriously from the start. Stretching only works through injuries in the micro area. These mini tears usually heal without consequences. However, if you overstretch the sphincter muscle, an injury can occur, which then scars. Scars become hard, they can no longer be stretched so easily later on, and this can lead not only to pain during bowel movements but also to incontinence.
How to practice
Avoid rough movements. They can cause tears in the mucous membrane, which are entry points for pathogens that can cause inflammation to develop, pain to develop, all the drama that no one needs and no one wants. So forget the porn act and be gentle with yourself.
Aids for stretching
It seems obvious to start with your own fingers, but unfortunately this is not very comfortable. Besides, if you want to stretch until a whole fist fits through the sphincter, you won’t get far with your fingers. But there are aids. If you use them as described above, you will soon get your sphincter used to opening several centimetres. In the second step, we advise you to use an inflatable dildo. This has the unrivalled advantage that you can insert it when it is flaccid and gradually widen the rosette by inflating it.
And then we would advise you to use an inflatable nozzle.
Training on a psychological level
Openness is required for fisting stretching to succeed. We used to be taught that the anus is dirty and that we will be punished if we play with it. Those who are still guided by such prohibitions will find it difficult to enjoy anal play. To overcome these inner prohibitions, it is helpful to have positive experiences and gradually override them. This can be achieved by lovingly exploring your own anus, playing with it and thus encouraging pleasurable sensations. One way to successfully overcome these prohibitions is by rimming or pleasurably licking the anal area. Unfortunately, it is difficult to do this alone, so a partner is needed.
Another common fear is the fear of soiling. This worry can get in the way of relaxing, letting go and opening up. To have a good fisting experience, you need to be prepared to “empty yourself” if necessary. When stretching, it is helpful to “push” as if you are provoking a bowel movement. With a flushed bowel, nothing should happen except that the sphincter muscle opens more easily. However, if you have anxiety, you won’t really be able to push. So it’s important to give yourself permission that it might not be completely clean.
Finally, a mental technique that was revealed to us by an experienced Fister. Jürgen always closes his eyes during the stretching exercises, concentrates on his body and imagines that he is looking outwards through his anus. This awareness exercise, imagining that he is actively opening his anus from the inside, still helps Jürgen today when he feels tighter during fisting stretches.
Turn off the pain
As mentioned above, in our society it is more common to suppress or eliminate unwanted feelings such as pain. After all, people take painkillers so that they can go to the office and do their work despite a headache or toothache. Why not just turn off the pain of stretching when fisting so that the other person can get in and get going faster?
Fist pain
The pain of fisting stretching cannot be compared to a »common pain«, says fist fan Jürgen, who is also into SM and knows many kinds of pain. »Fist pain öopens up a whole new approach to myself.«
Quite simply: pain is always an alarm signal. If you switch off the pain, it is as if you were to break the alarm light in the car that lights up when there is too little oil in the gearbox. Eventually the engine will seize up, but you won’t notice until it’s too late. A replacement becomes necessary. Unfortunately, you can’t just replace the rosette in humans (or thank goodness). If you ignore the pain of stretching, injuries can occur that cannot be repaired. The consequence: scars, the inability to close the rosette tightly, pain during defecation, no more fisting stretching. Back to the dildos. We spend a little more time using them, because using them to stretch is not without its problems. The sphincter stretches a long way before it rips even a millimetre.
Materials science
Let’s start with a little material guide. Soft dildos are naturally more comfortable on the rosette. Because they give, you don’t hurt yourself as easily. But: The soft ones slip away. In order to stretch more and more, you have to be able to exert a little pressure, but because of the lying position and the inconvenient reaching backwards, you will soon be frustrated and throw the dildo in the bin.
Colours
Think carefully about whether you want to own skin-coloured dildos, they get dirty quickly! And after all, the point is not to take part in a beauty contest, but to experience a stretching effect.
With hard dildos you can put more pressure on the muscles of the rectum, which gives you more control over the stretching progress. On the other hand, there is a risk that impatient or careless insertion can lead to injuries that can permanently spoil the fun of playing behind the scenes. As you can see, both flexible and hard dildos have their advantages and disadvantages. Just try out which one works better for you.
Vegetable dildos
We can only advise against vegetables. Although we are by no means church-affiliated, we agree with the opinion of leading church representatives: God did not create vegetables for homos to eat. Cucumbers can break. Carrots have nice grooves, but they are too thin. The surface of courgettes is covered with fine hairs, which can cause considerable irritation.
Shapes
We cannot repeat it often enough: Do not introduce parts that taper towards the end, i.e. become thinner! It has its own charm to take in such a part to the end, but one should not forget that no matter what casual object one puts in there, it can cross. And anyone who dismisses this warning as pussy stuff should ask a gynaecologist friend of theirs to witness a standing birth. The screams of pain may excite fans of the harder pace, but the blood in the veins of the average consumer freezes.
Care instructions
Dildos don’t go in the dishwasher! Wash them by hand with simple detergent, then lubricate them very lightly to keep the material soft and supple. To make them last longer, roll a condom over them before use, which is also more hygienic.
Infant positions
One more word about the positions: When you’re a beginner, you tend to take them lying down, usually on your side. The idea is understandable, as this is the best position to relax the pelvic floor. However, you have better control over these beasts if you sit on the dildo. Place the dildo on the floor (there are some with feet!), squat down and sit on it. This way you can build up the necessary pressure. When lying down, these parts have a nasty habit of slipping away, and not everyone is limber enough to exert the necessary pressure.
Training plan
- Although it is not necessary for stretching, flush your rectum to give it a workout too.
- Introduce the stretching exercise with a hot shower or a relaxing bath.
- Prepare a warm, quiet place where you don’t have to worry about spillages (pad!).
- Lubricate your hole thickly with lubricant, inside and out.
- Push one, two or three fingers through the sphincter at the beginning.
- The best way to practise is to squat down and sit on a dildo. This gives you the best control.
- Lubricate the dildo thickly with lubricant (it’s never too much).
- Sit on it, pull your arse cheeks apart, push from the inside as if you were having a bowel movement, stretch your sphincter until you feel pain, wait, relax, wait, relax even more, then stretch further – and wait and relax again.
- Perhaps add lubricant in between.
- Practise at least twice a week, preferably three times, and you will soon see progress.
Exercise duration
Keep lube coming! But the human rosette is also subject to the laws of physics: at some point the material will wear out, i.e. it will start to squeak. At the latest then you should stop. This is certainly the case sooner than later. It is also clear that in the beginning pain will come before pleasure, and it will take a while until the ratio shifts in favour of pleasure. At least on a physical level. Until then, be content with the exciting idea that a foreign hand will soon find a place inside you.
Overstretching
It is a myth that fisting stretching automatically makes you incontinent. If you respect the natural limits of your sphincter muscle, no negative consequences are to be expected. On the contrary, as with all muscle training, fisting tends to improve your control of your sphincter muscle.
Training duration
The answer to this can only be vague, simply because conditions are too different. Every pelvic floor is different (see anatomy), every psyche is different (see psyche) and last but not least it has something to do with previous experiences (someone who has been haunted by powerful cocks for years and has learned to enjoy them will probably find it easier to relax than someone who has just been fucked by a brand for the first time). And of course, progress is very dependent on the frequency of use. But on average, you have to be prepared for about three months. The faster you want to do it, the longer you have to prepare. You want it, the longer it takes!
The consequences of stretching
Because the rosette is a muscle, it contracts all by itself. If it is handled with care, all symptoms of stretching should disappear within a maximum of twelve hours. Until then, you should go to the toilet as soon as you feel the urge to have a bowel movement, otherwise you can expect a minor accident. If injuries occur during stretching, resulting in tears and scars, this may well mean that the closure system no longer functions. That is why – and you will read more about this – we warn against suppressing the sensation of pain. Pain is a good and important warning system.
The magic words for the »Open sesame!« are:
- Slow down
- Patience
- Caution
- Lots of lubricant
- Relaxation
- Regular practice
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