There are different meanings for the term fetishism. In anthropology, it is used when natural or divine powers are attributed to an object. It also describes a form of sexual pleasure associated with certain objects or rituals. In the fashion world, the term fetishism is often used for alternative fashion styles based on sexual fetishism. E.g. with rubber, latex or leather.
What is a fetish?
In common parlance, the term “fetish” is often used as a synonym for any kind of specific sexual practice. Including role-playing and BDSM practices. These practices have a certain fascination and magic that makes the term appropriate. Fetishism describes the fixation on an object, action or (non-sexual) part of the body. This object is then called a fetish. And the person who has a fetish for this object is called a fetishist. However, strictly speaking, sexual fetishism refers to the fixation on certain objects, materials or body parts. The fetish helps the fetishist to become sexually aroused. In some cases, a fetish can be so pronounced that it becomes difficult for the person to lead a normal life. For some people, it can even lead to psychosocial disturbance. The World Health Organisation definition refers only to sexual desire for objects.
However, it is common for non-fetishists to claim to have a fetish in order to present themselves as special. For example, because of a preference for beautiful underwear or special shoes. However, this has nothing to do with a fetish, but serves to emphasise sexuality.
However, if someone collects underwear and has a strong need to constantly look at it, touch it or otherwise use it to become sexually aroused, this is a different issue. In this case, the term “fetish” refers to the sexual attraction to an object, and not just to liking it.
Kink vs. BDSM: What’s the difference?
Although there are big differences, there are also fluid transitions and therefore no clear boundaries between kink, fetish and BDSM. So you can be a BDSMer with a fetish for rubber and express it in a kinky way. Although there is no clear demarcation, there are focal points that can be set.
One expression of this may be that you like a particular kink and use it in a BDSM act, but don’t take it to the highest level of BDSM. For example, you have a kink that means you get aroused when you are blindfolded or tied up, or you like being spanked or spanking others.
A fetish can be compulsive, not just a personal choice. It goes beyond a kink. Fetishes like rubber masks or high heels go well with BDSM or certain kinks. Experiences like licking feet or leather boots can lead to strong stimulation, so even the thought of it can be arousing.
Fetishes encompass different objects and actions. Some fetishists are aroused by unusual things, such as sneezing or My Little Pony characters. Unfortunately, there are many prejudices against fetishism, e.g. that fetishists cannot have a normal relationship or “normal” sex. However, a fetish is not a substitute for intimacy with a partner, contrary to popular belief.
Kinks, on the other hand, can be general preferences for certain practices of a physical or psychological nature that are used on a straight line – at one end is BDSM with nothing but the power differential, at the other end is the object-bound, sexual fetish. For example, golden showers can be a fetish in themselves or used in the context of BDSM or both. BDSM and fetishism can therefore be seen as poles of a common world held together by kinks.
How do you get a fetish?
There is little research in this area, so there are only theories or incomplete concepts. One of the most conclusive theories is that everyone has a basic predisposition to a sexual fetish. However, this only arises when a certain key stimulus and sexual arousal occur at the same time and the brain links the two together.
However, this theory has its weaknesses, as it suggests that more people develop fetishes and that the diversity should be higher. Moreover, it does not explain why fetishism is more common in men than in women and why a fetish rarely disappears or subsides.
Fetishes can develop at any time. Some people discover their inclinations early in childhood or during puberty, others only in adulthood. Fetishes can also change or expand over time.
What fetishes are there and at what point is it no longer okay?
In general, anything can become a fetish. However, it is noticeable that certain fetishes are more common than others. Fetishes associated with certain items of clothing are particularly common, such as mackintoshes, shoes, tights, stockings and uniforms. For many people, the material also plays an important role. Latex, lacquer and leather are widespread, but silk, nylon, lycra, wool or fur also have their followers.
Fetishes that focus on certain body parts are often accompanied by submissive behaviour, but not always. The best known and most widespread body part fetish is the foot fetish. Some fetishists are aroused by eyes, hands, nose, buttocks, muscles, armpits, knees, hair, belly button, ears or other specific body parts.
Object fetishes such as glasses, balloons, trees, stuffed animals, colours, smoking, fire, machines, dolls and figurines, food or piercings have gained some notoriety.
There is disagreement about when a fetish stops being a sexual preference and becomes a disorder. Although a fetish can be very appealing, the line is crossed when other people are confronted with it against their will or when harm is done to the person concerned or to others. Also, if a fetish is so urgent and irreplaceable for sexual arousal that it leads to a certain amount of suffering, it becomes a disorder. It is important to also warn against fetishes that carry some risk to health or life, such as the fetishes for Autoerotic Strangulation, Knife or Blood Play, or Faeces.
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