Diva love! Why do gay men seem to love female artists so much more than male artists? Put on a Lady Gaga or Tina Turner song, and it’s hard to assume that 99% of gay men know the lyrics without missing a word or a note. If gay men are attracted to other men, you would logically expect attractive male singers to be idolised. Not female divas, right? So it’s understandable that Usher, Justin Timberlake and Michael Bublé are favoured. But it’s the Dianas, Beyoncés, Pattis, Mariahs, Kylies, Madonnas and Whitneys of this world who really get the attention. And why is that? We don’t really have an answer to this phenomenon, and there are many theories that try to answer the big mystery behind gay men and their obsession with divas.
When is a diva a diva?
But first, let’s take it one step at a time. What is a diva anyway? According to the good old Duden dictionary, a diva is a
- celebrated singer, [film]actress [who makes a name for herself through eccentric allusions]
- someone who attracts attention through special sensitivity, through eccentric all.
The internalised misogyny, in that someone with accentuated gestures, feelings etc. is unpleasant and this is devalued with a female designation, should be noted at this point as not being in order. No matter how peculiar some of a diva’s behaviour was or is.
Divas are singers, actresses, writers, activists who have reached the top in their fields and have shaped society. In doing so, they have managed to unconsciously have an impact on the gay community. The individual gay men and the un-outed boys they once were. Their art has helped build the identities of many gay men, guiding them through difficult self-knowledge and insecurities. And showing them that they are not alone. These women have shaped their lives, in some cases inspired their coming out, given them strength, served as role models and provided comfort as they went through personal niggles and difficulties.
Their Stories
For often these divas have had to go through many difficulties themselves. For example, Janet Jackson, who came from a lower-middle class family and was a member of the Jackson 5. Mariah Carey came from a divorced family and had to grow up in a difficult neighbourhood. Whitney Houston survived years of domestic violence at the hands of her ex-husband and inspired people that learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all. Christina Aguilera experienced her childhood under the physical abuse and emotional torment of her father, and encouraged people not to be afraid to talk about their experiences. And to quote Madonna:
„When I came to New York it was the first time I’d ever taken a plane, the first time I’d ever gotten a taxi-cab, the first time for everything. And I came here with 35 dollars in my pocket. It was the bravest thing I’d ever done.“ (Madonna: In Her Own Words (Omnibus, 1999))
Her stories and struggles in a still male-dominated world are inspiring for everyone. Especially for groups that face discrimination and can identify with them and their stories. Because most divas come from the lowest strata of society, also faced with a lot of discrimination. And have made their way to the top with a mixture of luck, talent and hard work. Little wonder then that this inspires many gay men to never limit themselves just because of societal limitations. These divas are vulnerable, but at the same time strong, defiant and ready to liberate themselves as a new persona. Beyond the constraints of a patriarchal, racist, ableist, misogynistic and queer world. They refuse to remain victims and apologise for being who they are.
So why diva love?
One approach would be due to the following observation. Most popular male artists don’t seem to want our attention (i.e. the attention of gay men). While the female divas openly acknowledge their gay fan base, the men seem to be afraid to admit that they have gay fans.
In The Rise and Fall of Gay Culture, Daniel Harris suggests that “the core of gay diva worship is not the diva herself, but the almost universal homosexual experience of exclusion and insecurity”. Harris believes that gay men live vicariously through divas who ensnare good-looking heterosexual men. And that we would like to see ourselves in their place. He compares the worship of divas to watching football and says that it is as unfeminine as football: “It is a bruising spectator sport where you watch the triumph of feminine wiles over masculine will. A lush and supposedly helpless damsel in distress can be seen single-handedly bringing down a string of heavy-handed quarterbacks who lie at her feet.” (p.13)
On closer inspection, one can see that there is something distinctly male about these divas. They have a detached, sometimes aggressively feminine side. In Double Indemnity, for example, where Barbara Stanwyck plays a scheming femme fatale. She brutally murders her husband and then helps throw his lifeless body off a moving train to collect on his insurance policy. Or in Dead Ringer, where Bette Davis watches calmly as her dog jumps at her gigolo boyfriend’s throat.
And on the stage performances it turns into hyperfemininity, almost like drag queens. Diana Ross’ voluminous hair, for example, or Cher’s beaded dresses and extravagantly glittering eye shadow.
The yearning for the sirens
Diana Ross, Cher, Barbra Streisand, Bette Midler, Madonna, Janet Jackson, Lucille Ball and Dolly Parton are just a few of these stars. Today’s younger gay men have chosen Britney Spears, Jennifer Lopez, Jessica Simpson, Beyoncé, Lady Gaga and Christina Aguilera as the divas of today. Of course, one must never forget the deceased divas like the great Bette Davis, Joan Crawford and the original grande dame of divas: Judy Garland. Even if not every gay boy or man worships divas, various of these names are familiar to many.
Especially the songs these divas sing are mostly about love, light-heartedness and standing up for oneself. Primarily African-American divas like Whitney Houston, Diana Ross and Jennifer Hudson sing about belonging to a marginalised ethnic group that has been pushed to the edge of American life. Their songs channel their pain, their suffering, their vulnerability, but also their strength to rise up and face adversity. For in a patriarchal society, these women managed to overcome insurmountable obstacles and rise to the top. On the stage, they presented themselves as shining brightly in the limelight. Often surrounded by male dancers and looking powerful and glamorous. That is why gay men are probably particularly attracted to their songs and their triumphs.
Because a deep need is to come out: to be free and independent and to become happy. This is where the dilemma of the still current situation comes in. The norm systems are not fully accepting and appreciative. Gays – and all others who are discriminated against – continue to face persecution, but at the same time want to express themselves. Therefore, there is a need for a release of psychological conflicts and inner tensions through emotional release, and this is where these great divas and their songs and performances come in handy.
Diva love – and hate!
While these theories seem quite plausible, there could also be a much simpler explanation for the phenomenon of diva worship. The reason we love them could simply be that we have damn good taste!
In this spirit, and to set the mood for the upcoming festive season – and in homage to our beloved ladies – here are a few songs. Exactly Christmas songs:
Whitney Houston – One Wish (For Christmas)
Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas Is You
Diana Ross – Wonderful Christmas Time
Celine Dion – Happy Xmas (War Is Over)
Aretha Franklin – Tis Christmas
Brenda Lee – Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree
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